*Pokes head in door and looks both ways* You haven’t seen any AARP members around? There’s about six of them, with Mo-Peds? No? *Steps in* There was this altercation at Macys. Oh never mind. I have someone I’d like you to meet. *Reaches through door and pulls scraggly looking woman in a toga through*
This is Delia, she’s a muse. *Shoves Delia towards screen* Say hello, Delia.
“Hi.”
Come on, don’t be bashful. Say hello to the nice people. *Raises pitchfork* Say hello you dysfunctional thought process, before I stick you with this pitchfork and roast you over a spit till you’re well done!
“Hi, I’m Delia and I’m a muse.” *glances nervously at Bunny* “Er, Bunny has so graciously asked me to visit this blog.” *gaze flits towards Bunny and back to the screen* “I couldn’t say no...” *Leans closer, wringing hands* “Oh god, help me. I’m being held host…. Ouch. That’s sharp”
Stick to the subject sister, or there’s more where that came from. *Tail twitches*
*Sighs* “I’ve been on holiday lately.” *stares at pitchfork* “but I just wanted all of you to know, I’m back.”
*Knocks Delia out of the way and crowds screen* What this miserable Inspiration Wannabe is trying to say, is that if you’ve been missing your muse, I found her. I’m holding her hostage to the highest bidder. Shall we open the bidding at one soul? *Raises eyebrow and snags back of muse’s toga, shaking her and rattling her teeth* Do I have any opening bids? A whole lot of inspiration here. *Shakes her again, sending muse into tears*
Oh, shut up. You never want to say anything until it benefits you. It’s all about you, you, you. Unless you’ve got something good to say, zip it shut. *Shakes head* You can never trust these muses, they are fair-weather friends, leave you high and dry when you least expect it. But, I’ve got one for the very low price of one soul. *Leans closer to the screen* A bargain.
*Sighs* No takers? Come on, it’s one miserable soul. I know she’s not much to look at, but when you don’t have one hanging around… Well, let’s just say she’s a real steal. No really, I snuck into this New York Times Bestseller’s house the other night and… *Looks around* Did you hear that? Mo-Peds? I think their stalking me. Deck one old lady and they turn on you. I’m telling you, I had those shoes off the clearance rack first. The old Biddy deserved it. *Glances around and grabs Delia in a chokehold* I’ve got to go, but you know where to find me.
Ciao!
4 comments:
LOL! I've never tried prodding my Muse with a pitchfork. Hmmmm. *gets ideas*
Quite effective.
"Say hello you dysfunctional thought process"
Lol
Post a Comment