Welcome. This blog was started three years ago by four aspiring writers who are now three published authors of novels and short stories (Barbara Elsborg, Dawn Jackson, Arlene Webb) and one multiple award-winning writer (Laurie Green). We blog to keep readers updated on our new releases or other random topics. We hope you enjoy your stay. :] Coffee?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

More Chops from Slipping the Past

Here are some more chops that didn't make it into the final copy.


Thirty two years before…
Gabriel clutched his mother’s leg. “No.”
“Let go.” His father pried him lose and handed him to the man standing in the doorway. Gabriel kicked and screamed. The man wrapped his arms around him, keeping him from flailing.
“I don’t want to go.” Frustrated and held tight, Gabriel did the only thing he could. He closed his eyes and let it build. The power rushed through him. He sucked from the lights and air. “No! I don’t want to go.” Bulbs exploded.
“Strong.” The man adjusted his hold, making it harder to for Gabriel to breathe and pull energy. “His talent won’t be wasted.”
“I told you he was special,” His father said. “He’ll do great things for our world.”
“Mommy.” He sank his teeth into the man’s shoulder. The man released his hold and dropped him. Gabriel scuttled toward his mother, who sobbed. She stepped forward. His father moved in front of her and caught Gabriel by the collar. He heaved him off his hands and knees and shoved him toward the strangers.
“You have no place here.”
“Mommy!”
“Lucian, let him come to me. You’re scaring him. I’ll take him to the transporter.”
“You’re making this harder. He was born for one purpose and he will serve that purpose. It’s done. I signed the papers, they own him. He needs to start learning to be a man and he can’t do that with you treating him like a baby.” His father pushed her back. Gabriel screamed and sank his teeth into the stranger again. The man didn’t release him, but grabbed his hair and yanked his head back.
Gabriel’s eyes watered. He stared at his father through the tears, pleading. They were mean. He could feel they didn’t care about him. Why was he letting them take him? “I want to stay. Please Daddy. I’ll be good.”
“I’m not your father anymore. You’re an Enforcer. You better get used to it.” He turned and walked through the door, shutting it behind him with a soft click.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Flick said...

Oh poor Gabe!!! Naughty biting boy!

Laurie Green said...

Ah, the dreaded axe. :O

How do you feel about losing this scene, Dawn? Do you have a way of expressing his (lack of) relationship with his father in another passage?

D L Jackson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
D L Jackson said...

Let me try this again...

Believe it or not this was added to expand, but the editor thought only a couple of sentences would work. I condensed it down. There are a couple of other areas I added to elsewhere that do expand on this more. Plus, it leaves me room for another book, which I'm working on ATM. LOL
For all the chops, there some new sections in this story neither of you have seen. Ian at 14 as he walks through a hospital nursury "reading" crying infants and recording their crimes. Salem MA and a murderous night.

Maria, my editor did a fantastic job with this story. She's great to work with and easy to bounce ideas off of. I'm quite excited to be working with the staff of Liquid Silver Books and I'm looking forward to starting the edits on the next novel they're publishing, Last Flight of the Ark.
They truly are a great publisher to write for.
Dawn